08 August 2007


Alberto FernándezChief of Cabinet Alberto Fernández (picture on the right) says we (the people of Argentina) are "at the gates of Paradise". This is great progress indeed, as 9 months ago we were in Purgatory, and merely two and a half years ago we were still in hell. We've taken longer than Dante, who did the whole tour in three days, but then we're 35 million people, not a lone Italian guy, so the logistics were much more complicated.

Being where we are has some drawbacks. First of all, hell was much warmer. Amid the Molotov-fed flames, polar cold fronts were a fantasy, and so were these sad times, when nothing is left to discuss because we've found the One Really Unbreakable Economic Model. Thus solving the problem once and for all!

Also, back then we didn't have an energy crisis growth problem, because hell, as you know, is hotter in some places than in others, and this temperature differential allows for the extraction of energy from hellspace itself (this is believed to be caused by the continuous expansion of hell due to the so-called satanical constant, which is a form of dark energy; it's needed to accommodate newcomers). Paradise being a place of unchanging, perfect beatitude, it's bound to be in thermodynamic equilibrium, and therefore not only boring, but unable to support the accelerated GDP growth that has been feeding us all since 2003.

Our productive system may be able to sustain itself on hot air for some time (new reserves are being found all the time!), but probably no longer than one presidential period.

Heaven help us.


  1. Don’t you have to die before you can enter Paradise? I guess since so many Argentines are “drinking the Kool-Aid” these days it’s a distinct possibility. Or maybe Alberto has been eating the ‘shrooms in キノコ王国 .

    Has somebody mistaken the peso printing press for a perpetual motion machine that’s been harnessed to sustain Argentina’s economy? Or maybe there really is an undiscovered new law of thermodynamics.


  2. Well Argentines certainly have been productive in another sphere - I believe there are now more than 40 million of you (according to INDEC).



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